August 28, 2009 -
It’s 8:10PM on a Friday and I am laying here on my bed doing nothing. Feeling a yearning for something more in my life. Part of me desperately wants to be with someone right now. Part of me wants to never be with another person as long as I live. Too much has transpired over the years. Too much hurt. A bruised heart. More damage than any soul should ever have to bear. Am I damaged beyond repair? Not sure. I guess I will not truly know the answer until the time comes when I no longer feel the yearning to be half of a pair. Maybe that is the problem. Maybe I am missing half a soul. The Russians believe that a person is not whole until they find the other half of their soul. Hence the term “soulmate”. Where is my soulmate? Is he here, in this town? Is he elsewhere? Is he even in this country? What does he look like? Do I already know him? That psychic told me years ago that I already know my soulmate. I’ve already met him. But that was at least 10 years ago. Did I lose him? Did he lose me? Maybe we are both lost, doomed to wander the planet alone, each missing half a soul.
Maybe only a day longer. Maybe I will meet him tomorrow. Maybe next week.
Maybe...Maybe is a powerful word.