June 13, 2008 -
I've been feeling really "mopey" about my job lately – just general boredom and apathy. One thing you should realize about me is that I am a Class A Workaholic. My last job required 16-hour days, round-the-clock conference calls, meetings, travel, constant interruptions when I was in the office – and I loved it. What I didn't love was the baby attorney that was assigned to "manage" me. I really wish lawyers would just accept the fact that just because they went to law school, that alone does not qualify them to be a manager. In fact, most of what they teach you in law school is contrary to the principles of sound people management in that you are taught how to look for loopholes in order to keep your client out of prison – as a result, that requisite sense of accountability is not engrained in you other than ensuring you keep your own ass out of hot water and not land in front of the ethics committee. The best managers I have had in my career have all had a strong sense of personal accountability that drives them to effectively motivate and lead their team.
In any event, I left my previous situation because my manager was inexperienced and immature, and I personally felt was a liability to my career advancement. Predictably, he wrote what was an overwhelmingly positive transition review for me – with several petty barbs sprinkled in here and there that served no other purpose but to let me know the feeling was mutual. No one who gets two gold stars in a row, and stellar reviews for 6 years straight deserves to be told she doesn't "play nice with others". I mean – this is me…I love everyone!
But back to my current situation – for someone coming out of such a stressful environment, you would think I would be a little more appreciative of my 7-hour days and lightened workload. Instead, I find myself bored and a little uneasy. I was walking into the executive building today head down, thinking "oh woe is me, what am I going to do about this ridiculously simple job of mine?" when I looked up and saw a woman walking towards me that I have known casually throughout my tenure here. She said "Is that Elizabeth? I don't have my glasses on". Although I was in a hurry, I stopped to exchange pleasantries. It turns out, my former co-worker was laid-off in January after 10 years with the company and was now working in another group across campus as a $10/hour contractor with few benefits. As I was listening to her very sad story, I couldn't help thinking to myself how this has happened to me before – I will be going along feeling sorry for myself and someone will be placed in my path as a reminder to me that I actually have it pretty damn good. Not only do I have a good job, but one with benefits that I don't have to pay for and the security of a reliable paycheck.
There have been so many examples in my life where I have felt the Higher Power has definitely been looking out for me…S/He has my best interest at heart and wants to make sure that I know they are there for me. I've blogged about this before; at my lowest points in life I have put my faith out there, into the hands of a Divine Entity and was pulled up out of the quagmire of despair. The challenge that we all face is to keep in mind no matter what our Faith is, what we do or do not believe in, or even know if we believe in, life has a way of working out for the best. Going through life feeling sorry for yourself, thinking you are trapped, that you will never be happy is bond to only make you feel bad. Having faith – believing that things will get better – will pull you through. I am a very spiritual person…without my faith, I believe I would be a lost soul, destined to roam the world unhappy and alone.