Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Gaining at traction

Attraction is a funny beast.  Reason dictates that when you are attracted to someone, it's a good thing. You are drawn to that person by a force from deep within, and therefore sense you are (theoretically) in the right place. That being said, reality is often devoid of reason and as we all know from experience, we are often attracted to the wrong person.

You know me...I write a lot about this stuff. Some may think my writing is akin to whining but I like to view it more as an observation of the human condition, and more specifically MY human condition.  Relationships are fascinating creatures to me. They take on a pulse of their own from inception and have a very distinct life cycle, regardless of how long or short. Every last one of them - platonic or otherwise - begins with attraction. And when you start mixing in sexual chemistry, that's when things start to go awry.

I have a friend who - when commenting on the unsuccessful dating habits of another friend - used the phrase "not fishing from her own pond."  At first I was annoyed at her for being so narrow minded: how dare she insinuate that someone is flawed for being attracted to men that others deem too good for her!

Then I became Christian and suddenly the phrase took on a whole new meaning.  All of a sudden, men I'm attracted to have to meet a whole other set of job requirements in order to get past the first screening. Where I would have settled before, I'm finding myself in a situation where that isn't an option. But that doesn't change the fact that I might still be physically attracted to someone who is not right for me, and frankly - I'm likely not what he is looking for in a date either.

Matthew 4:1-11 is about inner struggle and the complications of staying true to oneself.  Jesus found the strength within himself to stay on His true path.  This is a struggle we all deal with, regardless of faith.  Elizabeth, AD is still new to this way of thinking and I find myself conflicted when, on a Saturday night  in a packed room surrounded by people I know and admire, I still can't help feeling a little bit lonely.  Especially, when I encounter men with whom I would otherwise be coquettish. Then I remember that's the me I left behind, when I stepped into that water on that spring afternoon last year.  I made a conscious choice to become Christian, and put my faith in Jesus. When my singledom starts to get me down, I remind myself it's for the Greater Good. I'm in a much better place now than I ever was. My soul has never felt more nurtured, in spite of the fact that my physical being craves attention.  Its really about conditioning and remembering why that life was left behind.  I don't believe you can control to whom you are attracted, but knowing who you are and embracing your values, can make or break you in the long run.

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