Monday, March 11, 2013

Light the World

Barring your soul in a public and open forum is daunting at best.  It stirs up many emotions that you didn't realize you had...a mix of relief, joy, sadness and anger, mixed with a teeny bit of self-loathing and regret.  I experienced this phenomenon yesterday when I decided to publish three different blogs, exposing heart and soul (literally) after reaching an emotional saturation point and needing an outlet for my thoughts. 

I'm hot and cold with my writing...sometimes it flows like a mighty river after a spring thaw; other times it is as hard to come by as rain in the midst of a desert drought. Clearly, I am in need of wellies these days!

Anytime you put yourself out there, there is a risk it will change peoples' perception of you. At a certain point though, you have to learn not to care. In my quest for personal growth and healing, I am learning that to keep my faith strong inside, I have to take risks and allow my light to shine outward.  Matthew 5:16 states “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify our Father which is in heaven.

Maybe I'm misinterpreting the meaning, but for me I've felt for a long time as if I've kept a piece of myself inside, buried deep in the back of my closet, running perilously close to not seeing the light of day again.  One day, I decided I'd had enough of diving through mountains of clothes, bags of scarfs and boxes of purses, just to find the one, bright shiny item I needed for a special occasion.  Tossing the excess baggage aside, I organized and catalogued every keep-worthy piece until the closet shone bright and new, a joy to behold!

And then I looked over and realized the toss pile is stacked high to the ceiling, with no place to call home. If I don't discard these items, I run the risk of burying my precious shiny pieces again.  Likewise, if I don't deal with what is keeping my light from shining, it will once again be buried deep in the back.

Where do I go from here? 

And so the journey continues...


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