Life is funny. It takes you down a long, windy path and occasionally leads you off-course by forcing you to take a detour you didn’t anticipate, but that could lead you to a happy surprise. Kinda like the detour I took a month ago when I signed up to help a friend manage his two - yes TWO - companies in addition to my (very full-)time day job at Wonderland. Albeit, this is a decision I made with both eyes open, knowing full well what I was getting into. Still - having three full-time gigs is for the birds. Then again, I like birds. Such tenacious creatures, always plucking at breadcrumbs and mocking my poor dog from the telephone wires.
I digress.
It was on this detour that I found myself last week in a crowded bar, mixing and mingling with others in my assumed career field, attempting to evangelize my company(ies) so we can make money. This is done all in the vain hope that I can one day quit my day job and become a Music Mogul. It was in this crowded bar that I made the acquaintance of D, a quiet and observant fellow sitting across the table from me.
He smiled at me; I smiled at him.
I may have noticed his lovely blue-green eyes.
Or not.
OK, fine...I did!
*blush*
We attempted to make conversation above the noisy din, but had a few false starts as neither of us appeared to be adept at reading lips. As the evening wore on and it quieted down to a dull roar, we talked about many things including his career as an archeologist-slash-musician-slash-artist, and my pathetic quest to become E. Diddy.
When he found out the latter, D was really keen to tell me about his brother's band - Earth, Baby. Now - I’ve found in my one month of Music Moguling that I can expect this to happen a lot. People I know for 10 minutes want to tell me all about their favorite band and why they are the best band in the world! But D is kinda cute and, more importantly - he seemed to have a brain - so I listened with genuine interest. After all, we are in scouting mode for our label, so why not? I gave D my card and asked him to get in touch with me if he wanted to pass on the band’s CD. Which he did. With this, I was most impressed as most people dont typically bother with the follow-through.
I do my best listening in my car, driving to and from work, or heading out on errands. I find I can concentrate mostly on the music when I don’t have any other distractions…well, that is except for ensuring the 18-wheeler coasting a little too close to my car doesn’t clip me and put me in a tailspin at 80mph!
So...there I was in my car coming back from the lovely little town of Arlington (don’t ask) and listening to the Earth, Baby CD - Yellow House - trying to place the familiar sound. I don’t usually like drawing comparisons between bands as that always feels like I am somehow devaluing one band's original compositions. But on the other hand, there is something to be said for drawing inspiration from those who influence your formative years. At one point, while listening to Track 7 (sorry – my car is old and doesn’t have the fancy sound system that tells you the name of song you are listening to), it came to me! Earth, Baby is like this modern-day hybrid of the Beach Boys, the Beatles and Blink-182 - all rolled into one happy little package! Yellow House is a really fun album and very well produced. There aren’t many bands that can bridge a generation gap, but I really think Earth, Baby can potentially have a wide appeal across many demographics. Their shtick is young and fresh but with a developed, full sound that clearly draws inspiration from pop legends that came before them, and served as their teachers and virtual mentors.
If you want to know of what I speak, there's a really cool video on YouTube. Note the gratuitous booty shot at 23 seconds.
All that being said, I'd really like to hear what their next offering sounds like. I want to know how they have grown in the two years since releasing Yellow House. D tells me they are coming out with a new album soon and I, for one, am waiting in anticipation.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Regret
When he left 6 years ago, I was happy. It had been a rough year – trying to adjust to living with someone who didn’t live the same way I did. The disorganization, the mess…the constant struggle to stay on top of it all. We got along great, but there were challenges as we struggled to figure things out and get used to each other. But I loved him with all my heart. And he loved me. I know he loved me. That being said, when the time came for us to fish or cut bait, we cut the line.
In spite of the years and the physical distance between us, I still kept him close in my heart. He was supposed to be the one that, when all was said and done, I could run back to. I realize now that none other was good enough to fill that space he left. And just when I was getting ready to reach out to him after all those years and tell him so, I realized I was too late. He is gone. Forever. And he will never know how I really felt...
In spite of the years and the physical distance between us, I still kept him close in my heart. He was supposed to be the one that, when all was said and done, I could run back to. I realize now that none other was good enough to fill that space he left. And just when I was getting ready to reach out to him after all those years and tell him so, I realized I was too late. He is gone. Forever. And he will never know how I really felt...
Friday, May 13, 2011
A Poem
Fact - we spend most of our waking hours at work. It stands to reason we become attached to our co-workers as an extension of our families. A former boss is leaving the company - someone with whom I - and many others - have a love/hate relationship. Naturally, when I heard the news she was leaving I thought back on 11 years of working with/near her. Many trials and tribulations were had in addition to even many more successes and achievements. At the end of the day, I am a much better person for having known her. Thank you, Lydia. This one's for you!
Moving On
They say:
“Don’t cry because it’s over
Smile because it happened”
Rejoice in our together time,
For there has been much.
Days and nights of chaos!
But you were always there.
Putting out fires.
And stirring the pot.
Never backing down once
From challenges and such.
You were my mentor.
You were my guide.
You taught me well, dear friend.
But now we must say “goodbye”
In collective heart you reside,
In shared mind we recall,
The laughter and tears
Of success and defeat.
But is it really goodbye?
Maybe not for long…
A temporary state.
For our time’s not yet done.
Moving On
They say:
“Don’t cry because it’s over
Smile because it happened”
Rejoice in our together time,
For there has been much.
Days and nights of chaos!
But you were always there.
Putting out fires.
And stirring the pot.
Never backing down once
From challenges and such.
You were my mentor.
You were my guide.
You taught me well, dear friend.
But now we must say “goodbye”
In collective heart you reside,
In shared mind we recall,
The laughter and tears
Of success and defeat.
But is it really goodbye?
Maybe not for long…
A temporary state.
For our time’s not yet done.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Thoughts on Solitude
Solitude – noun - the state of being or living alone; seclusion: to enjoy one's solitude.
Alone. Can one really enjoy being alone?
I believe the more apropos question is: does one really want to be alone? I have to think on this a bit. If you had asked me 10, 5, 2 or even 1 year ago I would have replied with an emphatic “NO!” The older I get though, the more I realize that being alone really isn’t so bad; it does have certain advantages, as well as disadvantages. At a minimum, it’s at least more tolerable now than it was 10 years ago.
Anne Boleyn’s husband chopped her head off when she couldn’t produce an heir to the thrown and in response her daughter, Elizabeth I, vowed never to marry a man but instead wedded herself to a country. In this day and age, such action would seem extreme but the sentiment is certainly attractive. Although I have no desire to marry a municipality, I see value in staying true to one’s own values and not putting yourself in a situation where you may potentially have to compromise those values to accommodate a partner.
It seems that almost everywhere I look these days people are in unhappy or unsatisfying relationships that came about out of initial lust for their partner that slowly died off over time, or were simply out of habit or sense of duty. They got married because they felt it was the right thing to do, or it was expected of them. Reflecting on my own relationship history, I can easily see those times where I could have fallen into that same hole of acquiescence with society’s view of how I should be living my life. However, never having been one to fully conform to the system, I find myself now – at age 40 – single and alone.
And for the most part I don’t mind. I don’t have to answer to anyone but myself. I can go where I want, with whom I want and not have to check in with someone else before, during and after doing so.
That being said, I freely admit there are times like today – a cold, windy rainy day – where I would like nothing but to play hooky from work and snuggle under a down comforter with my beloved, keeping each other warm.
As I sit here alone, pondering my past, present and future as a singleton, I find that I am neither sad nor happy about this state of mine. This leads me to believe that acceptance of solitude is not yet forthcoming, and perhaps there is still a little glimmer of hope.
Alone. Can one really enjoy being alone?
I believe the more apropos question is: does one really want to be alone? I have to think on this a bit. If you had asked me 10, 5, 2 or even 1 year ago I would have replied with an emphatic “NO!” The older I get though, the more I realize that being alone really isn’t so bad; it does have certain advantages, as well as disadvantages. At a minimum, it’s at least more tolerable now than it was 10 years ago.
Anne Boleyn’s husband chopped her head off when she couldn’t produce an heir to the thrown and in response her daughter, Elizabeth I, vowed never to marry a man but instead wedded herself to a country. In this day and age, such action would seem extreme but the sentiment is certainly attractive. Although I have no desire to marry a municipality, I see value in staying true to one’s own values and not putting yourself in a situation where you may potentially have to compromise those values to accommodate a partner.
It seems that almost everywhere I look these days people are in unhappy or unsatisfying relationships that came about out of initial lust for their partner that slowly died off over time, or were simply out of habit or sense of duty. They got married because they felt it was the right thing to do, or it was expected of them. Reflecting on my own relationship history, I can easily see those times where I could have fallen into that same hole of acquiescence with society’s view of how I should be living my life. However, never having been one to fully conform to the system, I find myself now – at age 40 – single and alone.
And for the most part I don’t mind. I don’t have to answer to anyone but myself. I can go where I want, with whom I want and not have to check in with someone else before, during and after doing so.
That being said, I freely admit there are times like today – a cold, windy rainy day – where I would like nothing but to play hooky from work and snuggle under a down comforter with my beloved, keeping each other warm.
As I sit here alone, pondering my past, present and future as a singleton, I find that I am neither sad nor happy about this state of mine. This leads me to believe that acceptance of solitude is not yet forthcoming, and perhaps there is still a little glimmer of hope.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Go Fish!
During a recent conversation with a friend, I am reminded of a comment that another friend of mine made a couple years back in reference to someone who had a habit of chasing pretty boys that were all cast from the same mold and who did not reciprocate her affections. This other friend was not a conventional beauty and most people would probably consider her on the fair side of average. The comment "she should just fish in her own pond" was both superficial and profound at the same time.
On the surface, some may think that comment unfair and catty. I mostly agree with that sentiment but can't help thinking there is a thread of truth to it. Human beings will often judge first on external appearances and draw incorrect conclusions simply because we are programmed to believe that we see it, therefore it must be true. An example would be my prior relationship with a man who was about 5 inches shorter than I (I'm 5'9"). The relationship ended due to other factors that had nothing to do with difference in stature. However, come to find out later that another friend of mine was routinely going around and making comments to other people in my circle: "How does THAT work?" (Need some Meow Mix, Fluffy?!) How that "worked" was completely moot and not relevant. In his mind, the two pieces of the puzzle were not physically compatible and therefore could not work out in the long-term.
The same principle holds true for people involved in a seemingly mismatched relationship. If the so-called "weaker party" does not have a strong sense of self, they may be inclined to consciously or subconsciously sabotage the relationship in order to avoid the potential embarrassment of being judged by others. In any relationship, it takes two to tango; if both parties are not completely onboard the boat to relationship bliss, there is a risk they will sink into the abyss. (HEY! That rhymes!)
With respect to fishing in one's own pond, I personally feel that can be limiting and potentially unsatisfying. My friend is always telling me I need to open myself up for the possibility of love. That doesn't mean that if the homeless guy on the corner hits on me, I need to take him up on his offer. The way I interpret that is when someone is presented to you by the cosmos as a possible love interest, you should just jump in feet first with arms wide open, embracing the possibility. Cast your net wide…you never know what you are going to pull in – an old smelly boot or a rare yet beautiful specimen.
Just don't fall in and drown.
XOXO
On the surface, some may think that comment unfair and catty. I mostly agree with that sentiment but can't help thinking there is a thread of truth to it. Human beings will often judge first on external appearances and draw incorrect conclusions simply because we are programmed to believe that we see it, therefore it must be true. An example would be my prior relationship with a man who was about 5 inches shorter than I (I'm 5'9"). The relationship ended due to other factors that had nothing to do with difference in stature. However, come to find out later that another friend of mine was routinely going around and making comments to other people in my circle: "How does THAT work?" (Need some Meow Mix, Fluffy?!) How that "worked" was completely moot and not relevant. In his mind, the two pieces of the puzzle were not physically compatible and therefore could not work out in the long-term.
The same principle holds true for people involved in a seemingly mismatched relationship. If the so-called "weaker party" does not have a strong sense of self, they may be inclined to consciously or subconsciously sabotage the relationship in order to avoid the potential embarrassment of being judged by others. In any relationship, it takes two to tango; if both parties are not completely onboard the boat to relationship bliss, there is a risk they will sink into the abyss. (HEY! That rhymes!)
With respect to fishing in one's own pond, I personally feel that can be limiting and potentially unsatisfying. My friend is always telling me I need to open myself up for the possibility of love. That doesn't mean that if the homeless guy on the corner hits on me, I need to take him up on his offer. The way I interpret that is when someone is presented to you by the cosmos as a possible love interest, you should just jump in feet first with arms wide open, embracing the possibility. Cast your net wide…you never know what you are going to pull in – an old smelly boot or a rare yet beautiful specimen.
Just don't fall in and drown.
XOXO
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
He's Anxious, Baby!
Although I consider myself a fan of all music, I will be the first to tell you I am a neophyte when it comes to dissecting and analyzing the nuances and intricacies of rap. I find much of mainstream rap to be trite and overprocessed much like their counterparts, the cheesy pop songs that frequently top the iTunes charts. It's a sad state of affairs in the music business these days, that's for sure. As someone who prides herself on gravitating towards music that is a little left of center (to borrow a phrase from Suzanne Vega), I find myself turning more and more to indie and small label bands as I find the end product tends to be more organic and entertaining.
Anxious first tumbled onto my radar screen after seeing him in a few youtube videos where he appeared with his buddy, Jonny 5 from the Flobots. I was immediately taken in by his effervescent personality and infectious grin. With a smile that creeps up to his eyes and out the top of his head, he came across as genuinely exultant. I couldn’t help wondering what he was about. Clearly a talented rapper from the short clips I viewed, I was excited when I discovered he had released a new EP, Spittin Fire.
I've often said that indie musicians are modern day orators to be revered for their talent and bravery in putting forth their voice in such a static filled, auto-tuned world. Indie and small-label rap artists are no exception. Anxious is a powerful example of the tenacity required to be successful as an artist.
I decided to listen to the album while at the gym as a) I needed the distraction from watching the machine tick away the seconds painfully slow, while I was busting my ass in preparation to climb 1,311 steps and b) although not "mellow", I had listened to the iTunes preview and knew this album didn’t scream "get your ass moving, you have 1,311 steps to climb!". As it turned out it made for a good workout mix without giving me a heart attack in the process.
Some thoughts on each of the tracks:
"Chandelier" - Balls-to-the-Wall personal mission statement, exclaiming his presence on the scene w/ obligatory shout-outs to his hometown of Denver, CO. This is a strong opening track that makes you want to keep listening.
"When It All Comes Down" - Beautiful example of 21st Century rap which could very well be a future Top 10 hit that will set the standard for others. I love this track so much, that I keep coming back to it again and again. This is an introspective declaration of never-ending drive and bravado, which again are necessary qualities to be a successful artist in any genre. The female vocals are powerfully exquisite, and complement the gruff richness of his spoken word. "Can you see what I found in you?"
"Rooftop" - Clearly, this is a dude who's taken his licks...and is now putting the world on notice. The track has a mellow flow, in spite of hard hitting vocals that belie Anxious' youthful appearance. Left me wondering - how old is this guy, anyway?
"Beautiful Day" - Good composition that tells the tale of why he loves what he is doing...and it shows. Reminiscent of Ice Cube's "Today Was a Good Day".
"Beverly Hills Cop" - samples the title track from the movie of the same name. Fun song that calls to mind long summer days driving down the beach, with the volume up, pissing off all the old people.
"The Return" - "My name is Anxious, and I love makin' music" Ummm, yeh!...that's obvious. If I had one problem with this album it would be the one metaphor used in this song comparing his skintone to cocaine. But that's just me. Otherwise this was a cool track.
Overall, this was an amazing effort! Anxious seems to be one of those really fun, happy guys who has found his passion in life and who drives forward to achieve the riches he has coming to him. I recommend this album without reservation, even for the most neophyte of rap devotees.
Stay strong, Anxious!
Anxious first tumbled onto my radar screen after seeing him in a few youtube videos where he appeared with his buddy, Jonny 5 from the Flobots. I was immediately taken in by his effervescent personality and infectious grin. With a smile that creeps up to his eyes and out the top of his head, he came across as genuinely exultant. I couldn’t help wondering what he was about. Clearly a talented rapper from the short clips I viewed, I was excited when I discovered he had released a new EP, Spittin Fire.
I've often said that indie musicians are modern day orators to be revered for their talent and bravery in putting forth their voice in such a static filled, auto-tuned world. Indie and small-label rap artists are no exception. Anxious is a powerful example of the tenacity required to be successful as an artist.
I decided to listen to the album while at the gym as a) I needed the distraction from watching the machine tick away the seconds painfully slow, while I was busting my ass in preparation to climb 1,311 steps and b) although not "mellow", I had listened to the iTunes preview and knew this album didn’t scream "get your ass moving, you have 1,311 steps to climb!". As it turned out it made for a good workout mix without giving me a heart attack in the process.
Some thoughts on each of the tracks:
"Chandelier" - Balls-to-the-Wall personal mission statement, exclaiming his presence on the scene w/ obligatory shout-outs to his hometown of Denver, CO. This is a strong opening track that makes you want to keep listening.
"When It All Comes Down" - Beautiful example of 21st Century rap which could very well be a future Top 10 hit that will set the standard for others. I love this track so much, that I keep coming back to it again and again. This is an introspective declaration of never-ending drive and bravado, which again are necessary qualities to be a successful artist in any genre. The female vocals are powerfully exquisite, and complement the gruff richness of his spoken word. "Can you see what I found in you?"
"Rooftop" - Clearly, this is a dude who's taken his licks...and is now putting the world on notice. The track has a mellow flow, in spite of hard hitting vocals that belie Anxious' youthful appearance. Left me wondering - how old is this guy, anyway?
"Beautiful Day" - Good composition that tells the tale of why he loves what he is doing...and it shows. Reminiscent of Ice Cube's "Today Was a Good Day".
"Beverly Hills Cop" - samples the title track from the movie of the same name. Fun song that calls to mind long summer days driving down the beach, with the volume up, pissing off all the old people.
"The Return" - "My name is Anxious, and I love makin' music" Ummm, yeh!...that's obvious. If I had one problem with this album it would be the one metaphor used in this song comparing his skintone to cocaine. But that's just me. Otherwise this was a cool track.
Overall, this was an amazing effort! Anxious seems to be one of those really fun, happy guys who has found his passion in life and who drives forward to achieve the riches he has coming to him. I recommend this album without reservation, even for the most neophyte of rap devotees.
Stay strong, Anxious!
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Senseless
This morning, I learned of the shooting in Arizona where 14 were wounded and 6 killed by a man believed to be mentally compromised. Of particular note to me was the 9-year old girl who was shot dead in this seemingly random act of senseless violence. The article I read stated the girl was born on 9/11/01. It immediately struck me that on the most violent day in U.S. history a child was born who, a short time later, would be killed in another act of senseless violence. To me, this was the very definition of irony.
After coming in from a walk with Miss D, I happened to glance down at the Sunday paper that had been left in the lobby for one of my neighbors. The bold headline stated: Arizona Congresswoman Shot in Rampage. My first thought was that that woman was still alive; the article I read this morning had stated that fact. Then I thought of the little girl. She was not alive. She was dead. And yet, she was not worthy of a big headline in a major market newspaper simply by virtue of the fact that, in the mind of the editor who created the headline, the Congresswoman trumped her in terms of status.
Why?
Why is it that we assign priority and importance to our fellow humans, simply based on class, profession and economic standing? What makes the Congresswoman’s life more valuable than the lost life of a 9-year old girl? Is the fact that I am an educated professional making a six-figure income make me more important than the homeless guy seeking shelter in the rain in my entryway? Why, when I am at work, I often feel invisible when in a room of attorneys? Does the fact that I cannot claim Juris Doctorate make my opinions less valuable?
Logic says no; it should not matter where you come from and what you do. What should be important is how you live your life. If you are a good, kind person then that should be the only status indicator. Unfortunately, reality dictates otherwise. Superficial factors of class and money often command how you are viewed in the world. It is human nature to categorize individuals…put them in easy-to-understand compartments in order to comprehend who we are dealing with, and in turn, use that information as a means to gauge goodness and success in life.
I don’t want to pretend that I myself do not engage in this behavior. Of course I do. I am only human, as flawed as that is. But I think I would be doing a disservice to myself if I didn’t question these things.
Life is a valuable commodity, no matter who you are or what you do. If more people remembered that, then perhaps we would not have such senseless acts of violence.
After coming in from a walk with Miss D, I happened to glance down at the Sunday paper that had been left in the lobby for one of my neighbors. The bold headline stated: Arizona Congresswoman Shot in Rampage. My first thought was that that woman was still alive; the article I read this morning had stated that fact. Then I thought of the little girl. She was not alive. She was dead. And yet, she was not worthy of a big headline in a major market newspaper simply by virtue of the fact that, in the mind of the editor who created the headline, the Congresswoman trumped her in terms of status.
Why?
Why is it that we assign priority and importance to our fellow humans, simply based on class, profession and economic standing? What makes the Congresswoman’s life more valuable than the lost life of a 9-year old girl? Is the fact that I am an educated professional making a six-figure income make me more important than the homeless guy seeking shelter in the rain in my entryway? Why, when I am at work, I often feel invisible when in a room of attorneys? Does the fact that I cannot claim Juris Doctorate make my opinions less valuable?
Logic says no; it should not matter where you come from and what you do. What should be important is how you live your life. If you are a good, kind person then that should be the only status indicator. Unfortunately, reality dictates otherwise. Superficial factors of class and money often command how you are viewed in the world. It is human nature to categorize individuals…put them in easy-to-understand compartments in order to comprehend who we are dealing with, and in turn, use that information as a means to gauge goodness and success in life.
I don’t want to pretend that I myself do not engage in this behavior. Of course I do. I am only human, as flawed as that is. But I think I would be doing a disservice to myself if I didn’t question these things.
Life is a valuable commodity, no matter who you are or what you do. If more people remembered that, then perhaps we would not have such senseless acts of violence.
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